Townes Van Zandt - Talkin' Karate Blues Lyrics
By townes van zandtWell, I aint very big for twentyoneAnd it seems I never could have any good clean funCause every time Id go outside some great big bullyd come alongHed hit me in the face and hed knock to the groundAnd hed start kickin me all aroundAnd that aint exactly fair, friends, thats wrong.So I got me a paper the other nightAnd I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the lightAnd flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads.Said, take karate from lee hung chow;Man, make your first appointment nowThis course is guaranteed to make you bad.Well, the next day I drove to the addressBy japanese design I was really impressedIt looked like a regular house of the rising sun.I walked inside, I was all aloneI had a nervous feeling down in my bonesI was kind of sorry Id ever even come.Then a giant jap came through the doorHe must have been about seven foot fourAnd he looked like hes prone to easy aggrevation.He said, lee hung chow, ah kee dungThats japanese for fee fie foo fumI tried to explain my entire situation.He said, number one course, yankee, self defence,Twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents;I said whats the twentyfive cents for? and he said, repairs.I said, repairs to what? , and he said to youAnd I thought to myself man, that wont doFelt about a half inch tall under that ol slender stareAh, you think he was yellow...I said, I believe I better go check another placeHe said, ha so, yankee dont like my raceI said, now, theres a mistake, man, and thats true;Ive been for you you japanese all alongYou japanese just cant do no wrongAnd I thought you got mighty dirty deal in world war ii.Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heaveI figured theres a pretty good time to leaveBefore he had a chance to do me any definite harm.But my plan worked out in the end, you see,Now no bully is gonna pick on meWhos gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?
