Image Spitting - I've Never Met A Nice South African Lyrics
I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru,I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Tinbuktu,I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal,And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner -But I've never met a nice South African!No he's never met a nice South African,And that's not bloody surprising man!'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant b***tards,Who hate black people!I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait,I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late,I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool,I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,I've met a normal merman, and a fairly modest German -But I've never met a nice South African!No he's never met a nice South African,And that's not bloody surprising man!'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers,Who smell like baboons.I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind,I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings,I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,I've seen a flying pig, in a quite convincing wig,But I've never met a nice South African!No he's never met a nice South African,And that's not bloody surprising man!'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,With no sense of humour.I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire,I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies,I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies,I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle -And I've never met a nice South African.No he's never met a nice South African,And that's not bloody surprising man,Because we've never met one either!Except for Breyten Breytenbach, and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)Yes he's quite a nice South African,And he's hardly ever killed anyone,And he's not smelly at all.That's why we put him prison!
